This memorial day had special meaning to me and our family this year. It fell on the anniversary of my sister Tiphanie's death.
I have worked on this post for a quite a few days now (hence it's lateness), and I just can't seem to say what I want to say. It seems like everything I write is not eloquent enough or heartfelt enough. Someone would just have to know Tiphanie to appreciate any of the memories I have of her. She epitomizes the phrase "free spirit". Independent. Generous, loving. She had more insanely crazy adventures in her short 28 years than most people have (or want to have) ever. She was big into belly dancing and made all her costumes. When she lived in Idaho, she started teaching her own belly dance class there. When I was engaged to Dax and going to Dixie College, she emailed me and asked if she could belly dance at our wedding reception because she had the perfect outfit and the perfect song and that it would be the best gift she could give us. I told her yes and she was so excited and told me she would practice a lot. She danced at my reception in WJ and I LOVED it. Everyone there was glued to her. I am not sure if some of Dax's relatives almost passed out from shock, because I was too into the performance to notice. It indeed turned out to be the best gift she could have given because who cares about an iron or a toaster when you can say my sister belly danced at my wedding reception! And that totally shows who Tiphanie was. She gave her genuine self to
anyone. I regret that no one got the dance on video and that digital cameras weren't available when I got married. But her dance and the song is ingrained in my memory and although I could not find the song online (I can't spell in arabic), I found another belly dancing song that was one of her favorites called Habibi, which I added it to my blog's playlist. I am so blessed to have inherited the costume she danced in at my reception, as well as her sewing machine that she used to make it and many other beautiful creations.
I have thought more about Tiphanie and her death the past few weeks than ever before. My thoughts have given me a lot of understanding about her and about myself through her death, and although I wasn't super close to her in age or in relationship, I have some awesome memories of her. I am so grateful that I know I can see her again someday. And the best thing about this Memorial Day, was not only did it fall on the anniversary of her death, but we got to spend time with Tiphanie's son that she lovingly, selflessly, and courageously placed for adoption 14 years ago. He and his family came to my parents' house for a barbeque. My Dad and Mom, my sister Tisha and her family, my brothers Tyrel and Trent, and my family were there. How neat that my kids got to meet him and that the rest of us were able to see what a great boy he is. We were able to be close to Tiphanie that day in a special way. I think she was happy about that.
17 comments:
Tristie, I had no idea that Tiphinie had passed away until about 2 months ago. When I found out I really kind of just sat there and cried a little bit. I loved her so much and I only have a few memories of her when we were young, but she was always so funny and like you said, just a free spirit. I remember when her son was born and how she gave him up to a wonderful family. I am so sorry about how hard this must have been and still must be for your family. I have always had so much love and respect for your family (they were like my second family for a long time!) and I wish I could have been there for you when all of this happened. I love you so much Tristie and I hope that you continue to feel Tiph's presence around you. What an amazing woman she was. I know that she will live on in her son. What a beautiful post.
I am so glad that you did this. I was so sad that I couldn't be with the family that day and on your wedding day. Stupid military! This post brought back some great memories of Tiph. Memorial week end is always hard for me, her birthday,and Mothers day for that matter.She was truly the most selfless mother. giving up her baby was the hardest thing she ever did. She cried her whole pregnancy. and every mothers day, and Josh's b-day. As soon as she found out she was pregnant she quit smoking. She also wanted to keep him for the full 3 day so that she could nurse him and give him the colostrum. I still loose my breath when I get a call from Mom, thinking it may be about someone else dying. We go and get hummus on her birthday and Memorial Day to remember her and her love of belly dancing and middle eastern culture. Love Ya
Tristie I am so in awe by you. I wanted so much to do a post, but I couldn't say what I wanted to. You said it for us all. It was so fun to remember Tiph dance at your reception. It even meant so much to me because she asked me to be her music man (big smiles). I know it was a little job, but I was so excited to be a part of her gift to you. I know Tiph was happy about our party as well. It was just so fun and good and right. Thanks for the post! Love you! I love the picture of you as a little girl. When did you grow up to be so amazing? OK so you were always amazing . . . . when did you grow up? When did we all grow up?
I am so sorry about your sister, what a great post tribute to her. I remember the dance at your reception and what a unique gift and memory she gave to you that you will always hold in your heart. What a great gift she gave to that family by giving her baby up for adoption.
Destiny
Thanks for sharing you memories about your sis. I am sure she is so proud of the woman that you have become!
What a touching tribute to your dear sister. She was unique and beautiful. It's our differences that endear us to one another. I remember her graceful and sincere dance on your reception night, too. Let's keep on remembering her always. She touched your life for good.
I love the post because it instantly reminded me how fun unique and amazing you are. Of course you would let her dance at your wedding you probably did not even think twice about it, because that is who you are, great.
Sophia
Oh Tristie, this is just a beautiful post. You totally made me cry.
I didn't know her, but I feel like I do from hearing about her from Trina and now you. What a beautiful person she is. I am glad that her son's adoptive parents are generous enough to share him with your family. That is so great.
You did a great job with this!
Love, Tif
This is a tribute I'm sure Tiphanie is proud of. What a great post. Thanks for sharing a piece of your heart with us.
What a great post. I'm always learning new things about you and your family. What a great tribute. I didn't know your sister, but I can tell she had many admirable qualities. As a Mom that adopted, I can tell you there is absolutely no price you can put on the amazing love it takes for those special Moms to place a child for adoption, and the ones that receive that child are forever grateful. Big hugs to you and your family.
Really touching. She sounds like a special person. I'm glad you have happy memories of her.
I'm sorry about your sister. Death is hard no matter what. That is neat you get to see her adopted son. Your sister sounds like a brave woman!
Tristie,
As I read your post about Tiph soooo many memories of her came flooding back. What an amazing women. She was an example to me in so many ways. She was so courageous and giving, I remember her giving her son up and going through that with you and I looked up to her so much. I think your post is an excellent tribute to her, anyone who reads it that knew her will sit and reflect for a moment about her and the memories they shared with her. I remember many times just hanging out and talking to her about life and listening to her views and just being in awe. I can never drive by the cementary without thinking about her and how that must be a constant struggle for you and your family. We are so lucky to know that if we live our lives accordingly we will have the chance to see loved ones again that have passed before us. Love you!!!!!!!!
What a wonderful post about your sweet sister, Tiphanie! I think about her a lot because we are so close in age. She was always the fire under us when we were growing up encouraging all of us to try something new, to step out of our shell. She is an amazing person and I always admired her confidence and strength. We should all have a little more "Tiphanie" inside our hearts!
What a sweet tribute, Tristie. I don't think you should ever stress about not coming across eloquently because it needs to be written the way you remember her, and that makes it authentic and real. LOVE that she danced at your wedding. I can totally see that because YOU are such a free spirit.
And that is so sweet that you were able to see her son and that he could meet your children. I am sure that was neat for everyone.
Thank you...it is hard to share things about someone who is gone. Beautiful!
Hey sweetie, you are definately someone your sister looks down on and is proud of. I know that we have just started to get to know one another, but I absolutely admire you. Thank you for sharing...You are beautiful with your words and memories.
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