plain and simple - part 2

These types of thoughts have been mulling around and building in my head for at least a couple years. I started noticing that we live in a world of excess when we would come home from Christmas barely able to close the back door to our SUV. Christmas morning every year consists of one child opening a gift and being so delighted that they start playing with it instantly. Then pretty soon the toy is taken away and they are handed another gift to open from the stack. If the child is so content with one present, why do we think they need two (or ten)? Especially when they have a whole room full of toys that they are perfectly happy with and still play with. I know that a child is loved by many people: moms and dad, at least 2 sets of grandparents, aunts and uncles, siblings, even their teacher at school. If Santa is going to compete with all of THAT, he'd better bring something good. And while it is so fun and exciting and appreciated, it's all too much!

A friend recently recommended a book to me called "It's All Too Much" by Peter Walsh. I believe it was an answer to my prayers. My husband jokingly calls the book my new scriptures, and I can't really discount that statement because many of the points in the book rang true for me. I have hit a point in my life that I'm ready to let things go.

And that is what I did. I went through all of my personal belongings, worked with the kids on their room, and helped Dax go through some of his things. We filled many garbage bags and many bags to take to D.I. By the end of our week, we had made a good dent. I would have taken it all to Deseret Industries, but my checking account was pretty low from building expenses, so I had a yard sale Saturday. I sold a lot of things and got to talk to a lot of people. I can't tell you how many times I heard something like, "I already have too much stuff, but I really like going to yard sales." One lady said, "Whenever anyone in the county needs anything, they just come get it at my house. I have a shed full of stuff and I am getting another shed." It's so easy to acquire belongings, and it even makes us feel good and successful and productive. But it is even more exciting to let it all go and see the open space grow and feel my mind clear.

We'll never be done de-cluttering because we will constanly be getting more stuff as the years roll on. This Christmas, my husband and I are cutting back on gifts for each other and the kids. We will focus more on service and experiences and fun. Memories last longer than presents, anyway. And they don't require me to buy more storage bins!

plain and simple

If they must have characters, let it be on their underwear. I have never been a fan of cartoon characters on kids' clothing or shoes. I walked around K-mart a few weeks ago and I almost felt sick looking around their baby clothes section. There wasn't ONE plain shirt or even a plain pair of pants in sight. Everything was decorated with teddy bears or Lightning McQueen or Elmo and I could just see in my mind the little 8-year-olds in a distant factory sewing all those clothes for a dime a day so that I could buy the Mickey super mechanic 2-piece outfit for only $10.49. Anyway, I am just not one to buy clothes with a lot of stuff on them. Even for myself; I DO like bold colors and patterns, but I will rarely wear something with a brand name printed across it. I don't really feel like paying a company to advertise for them.

Recently my taste in other things has become less cluttered and more streamlined. My kids were so excited to put up Halloween decorations in September, as usual. When I pulled the box out, I just got this "bleh" feeling and then put it back away. I am SO sick of clutter. I couldn't bare to set out more stuff in my home. I am ready for a new style. I think the word I am searching for is CLEAN. My mom told me the other day that once I move to my house, it will be easier to keep things clean because there will actually be a spot for everything. That made my day! But then I got thinking, since I will have SO much more space, I don't want that to be an excuse to collect things I don't need or want. Living in apartments for the past many years and moving often has forced us to only hold onto the things that we really need or really want because that is all that will fit and that is all we are willing to move every year or so. Having few possessions keeps life simple.

Another move is around the corner for us; I am excited to purge our belongings again. I am going to keep simplicity in my life. I would like to start over fresh and let go of anything that clutters my home, my time, or my mind. I only want to be surrounded by the things and people that I love.

The Trick is to Enjoy Life

My husband said something last night that got me thinking a little. He said, "It is so interesting that we go through these different stages of life and they seem so serious at the time. But looking back, they were so cool." He mentioned how fun it would be to go back for a couple of weeks and be a senior in high school, or go back to his mission. I have thought about this in bringing our little Mack into our home and how crazy it sometimes is; and I remember it being just as crazy with one baby. It makes me think I should have had more fun when I had just one!

Also in each stage of life it seems like I look ahead and think, Oh, won't that be cool when the kids are all old enough to do this or that, or won't it be cool when Dax and I are empty nesters and we can go on a mission or take little vacations together? And people who have older kids or their kids have left home always say, "I wish I could go back to when my kids were little." Grandmas always say that when their kids were little were the best years of their life.

So what is up with us humans not enjoying the stage of life we're in right now? I am SO guilty of this, even though I know it is important to living a happy and fulfilling life. I think there are legitimate reasons people want to move on to the next phase of life; some parts of life are HARD. Hard stuff sometimes sucks. It is hard to make adjustments to our stage in life because we have to work harder. I have to change what I do and how I think. Moving on to a new stage might bring me some cool new things, but it is also going to bring new challenges. The challenges I had as a newlywed are not the same as the ones I have being married 7 years with 3 young children. And I am sure that having no children in the house has challenges (I can't think of any right now, but there probably are some). So if all those old grannies in Relief Society are right, I better enjoy "the best years of my life" right now. It is time to be less serious and stop sweating the small stuff. My house is a complete wreck. That is absolutely true. My body is sore from holding my baby all day, every day. I live in the "armpit of Utah" in a ghetto part of town. So what? I am happy. I love my husband. My kids are taken care of. The Lord is watching out for me. I have good friends and a super loving and supportive family.

"The trick is to enjoy life. Don't wish away your days, waiting for better ones ahead."

-Marjorie Hinckley

my little project

Whoa...Christmas is coming --fast. I was just thinking about what I was doing a year ago. Working out at 6 am, making a Christmas activity chain, gingerbread houses, Christmas cards, b-day invitations, party favors, sewing a princess gown for my daughter's b-day, cookies, carmel apples, etc. I was so busy last December, it was awesome. I loved doing all the fun holiday projects and having my hands so busy.

This year, my hands are just as busy but in a totally different way. Yes, I will probably do a lot of the Christmas-y stuff like bake and decorate. But I won't be sewing a princess gown (sorry Pres). Sometimes I think it is easy for moms with very young kids to get frustrated that they are not getting a lot done. I've felt that way before lots of times. But I think one of the best things about having a baby 3rd time around is the realization that all that stuff is just stuff. It has taken me this long to realize that holding and feeding and playing with my baby is accomplishing quite a lot. I am helping nurture this little person physically, mentally, and emotionally. He is learning to trust me. He is learning to smile. He knows he is safe. He knows I will change him and make him comfortable if he cries. That is huge. But it is not something I can cross off of a to do list. For task-oriented people, being a mom can be hard. I am thankful that I am starting to "get it". It isn't easy all the time. And the fact that the baby slept a six hour stretch last night makes things so much more clear today (amazing how that happens!). So thank you, baby Mack for sleeping so well and for coming to teach me what being a mom is all about.

happy family!

I am so happy right now. I love my family and all that each person adds individually. I love my husband and all that we've done and been through together in the past almost 7 years of marriage and even before that in dating. We went on a date last night (a miracle, I know!) and it was so nice to slow down, sit, and talk...just about whatever and things that are on our minds and all that is going on in our lives right now, which is a ton. He is trying to finish his thesis to complete his Masters degree, and the new job is still a challenge with learning all there is to learn, plus there's hunting (it is a great priority!) which is upon us, and providing for a family and trying to find a house, and being a good dad and husband...there is a lot on his plate. And there's me...I am doing ok with 3 kids so far. Dax has been gone a ton and will be gone more in the next while. But I am handling it, somehow (whoever is praying for me, THANK YOU, and keep it up!) I love my kids and I love being a mom. I just don't think there is a more rewarding job out there, or a job that has more of an impact on another person or the world in general as motherhood does. It is a huge responsibility...one that i don't think we fully realize! I probably won't ever understand just how big this is, but I am trying and hopefully, if my kids can just get to adulthood and not be ruined, I will have succeeded! They are truly miracles and such wonderful little people. I am so happy to be apart of a family! It is one of the greatest gifts I have. I just can't imagine going through life without these people. To love and to be loved is the best feeling in the world.

words to live by

It's Okay.

This is fast becoming my daily and hourly motto. It's okay that I only layed in my bed for 2 hours last night. It's ok that I didn't shower or get ready at all yesterday, that I haven't had a fresh haircut in 4 months, or a good hair day in a week. It's ok that all my shirts are too tight (and my pants for that matter), that I got everyone ready today and walked us all to the post office and arrived there at 12 noon, just as they closed for the day. It's ok that my kitchen is messy and so is every other room in my apt and so is my bed (which I will probably not make until I have company over or until the baby sleeps at night...I mean, why make it when I plan to get back in it any chance I get?) It's ok to have undone projects and cupcake crumbs on the floor from 2 days ago and laundry in the dryer and dust on the TV and a daughter with hair not fixed or me with hair not fixed. All of these things are ok because I got up and fed my family and kept them safe and happy today. That is what being a mom is about. And it is most definitely okay to be a mom.